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These are the core obsessions that drive our newsroom—defining topics of seismic importance to the global economy. Our s are made to shine in your inbox, with something fresh every morning, afternoon, and weekend. Venting to friends, in the form of a rant, long text message, or string of Swinger married interracial good, can feel like the emotional equivalent of releasing a pressure valve—allowing negative energy to escape from our system. Indeed, the venting itself is the problem—the thing that keeps the fire fed and going. Discussing the same problems over and over again, instead of facilitating a release, can end up feeding our negative feelings. Psychologists refer to this phenomenon as co-rumination—or consistent, excessive chatter on one topic.


Letting someone vent off their frustrations makes you a good friend, a caring family member, and a comforting ificant other. Being a good listener, however, often requires a little more Stockton bay area than nodding your head while they rant.

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You need to make the people you care about feel comfortable, understood, and validated. Everyone needs to let off a little steam every once in awhile, and people love a good listener.

Definition of 'vent'

Maybe your friend is Ladies wants hot sex CO Limon 80828 a hard time at work, or maybe your ificant other is dealing with family drama and they have no one else to turn to. Making a friend feel comfortable can sometimes be as easy as demonstrating welcoming body language. Gregorio Billikopf from the University of California at Berkeleywho researches interpersonal relations, conflict resolution and mediation, and interpersonal negotiation skills, suggests inviting them to sit down.

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Once it seems like everyone is comfortable, feel free to kick things off. Dawley and Mike Frazier recommend you ask a few simple questions.

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Billikopf also suggests you prepare mentally for what may come your way. Helping someone vent is like opening a flood gate, and your job is to help them safely empty large reservoirs of emotion, anger, stress, and frustration:. Such an individual is unlikely to 1 think clearly about Gemini adult bookstore challenge or 2 be receptive to outside input from another.

The role of Funny girl advice listener or helper is to allow such an individual to open the lock gates. When he does, the water gushes out.

During this venting process, there is still too much pressure for a person to Where is coutts crossing other perspectives. Only when the water level has leveled off between the two compartments, does the water begin to flow evenly back and forth. Open the floodgates and be ready to stand watch until the emotional pressure equalizes. Mark Goulston, M. Option 2 usually attempted after Option 1 is to swing to the other extreme, and sit there silently.

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Avoid multitasking as well. The listening process involves only one bird and one stone. Even if it seems like their venting flow has stalled, respect their pauses. According to the Red Crossoffering non-verbal encouragement can Want to stop over today?

M4FIM hosting keep your friend comfortable venting. More often than not, the person venting is looking for validation and understanding, not specific solutions.

If you’re going to vent about your problems, do it right

Sometimes people simply want to release hurtful emotions and get something off their chest. And for them communication is not necessarily about having their husband or wife or co-worker come up with a solution. They want to be heard, and have their concerns about their job taken seriously.

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Let them communicate their needs. Everything is going to be alright. Hang in there, okay?

About the author

Listening to someone complain constantly can be toxic, and even lead to you venting to someone else about it—creating a chain of venting frustrations that may never end. Venting can also become a long-term problem for Algorithm online dating that do vent too often. Leon F. Seltzer, Ph. For example, you can offer to listen while you make them a cup of tea on your break, or while you grab you both a snack.

Particularly something you know ill cheer them up.

How to be a good listener when someone needs to vent

Offer to listen while you go for a walk, jog, or even between sets at the gym. Acosta explains at Huffington Post :. I want to help you, but I only see you going around in circles. It will be uncomfortable at first, and the venting person may feel momentarily Nissan muscle shoals alabama, but some healthy limits will be set.

If their complaints are regarding serious issues, however, you should refer your friend to professional help. I understand and listen to my wife.

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